Co-parenting with your ex after a divorce is no easy feat, especially if you endured a particularly tumultuous split. You might feel hurt, angry, depressed, and still need time to process and cope with the aftermath. However, the focus of your co-parenting relationship should be the needs of your children rather than the issues of the past. No one is asking you to ignore your feelings regarding your divorce, but there is a time and place for it. When dealing with matters related to your children, you and your co-parent must set your personal issues with one another aside to avoid engaging in any unnecessary conflicts.
Learning to Work Together
It sounds a lot easier said than done, but it is possible to become an effective co-parent after a divorce.
Here are some tips to help set you on the right path:
- Never put your kids in the middle: Although it might be tempting, you should never turn your children into messengers or badmouth your former spouse in front of them, hoping they might relay the message. If you have certain thoughts or feelings about your ex, talk to a friend or relative about it. If you believe it is a legal matter that requires the attention of the court, contact an attorney. Your children are not the ones with whom you should share any of these issues.
- Work on your communication skills: Now that you are no longer together, you can limit the scope of your discussions to child-related issues. Consider setting a business-like tone and work on becoming a better listener. Being a good listener will help you craft more thoughtful responses and help you avoid reacting impulsively.
- Resolving disagreements: Becoming a better co-parent does not mean you will never have any disagreements. However, it does mean you will learn how to effectively navigate those disagreements. You and your co-parent must be willing to compromise. No one will get exactly what they want every time, so learn to give and take to find a happy middle-ground.
- Create smooth transitions for your kids: Moving between two households on a regular basis is challenging for kids, so do your best to smooth out these transitions. Help them start packing ahead of time to ensure they do not leave anything important behind. When you drop them off, do not make them feel bad about spending time with their other parent. When they return, help them readjust and, if necessary, give them a little space. Divorce is hard for everyone, so you all need to help each other.
Schedule a Consultation with a Knowledgeable Family Law Attorney!
Co-parenting with your former spouse will present some difficulties and some of them might require the assistance of a skilled legal professional. At Nichols Dixon PLLC, our family law team will help you navigate even the most complex family law matters, so you and your family can peacefully move forward. We understand the sensitive nature of these issues and will provide the compassionate advice you need during this difficult time.
Get started on your case and contact us at (405) 294-1511 to schedule a consultation.